Clarity
by Saviour Salvatore
Summary: Sometimes a moment of clarity in your life is all you need to stop and take a good look at who you've become. When they happen, they change everything. Current one-shot.


**Clarity**

Have you ever had a moment of clarity in your life that made you stop and take a good look at who you'd become. They don't happen very often but when they do, they change everything. They make you look at yourself, at the people you surround yourself with and question just who you want to be compared to who you are.

I'd always been pretty level-headed even as a child, knowing exactly what I wanted with my life until I became a teenager and moved to Forks. I got thrown into the supernatural world, a mere human standing between the vampires and the shapeshifters.

It was in Forks where I came to the realization that while I had once been in love with my vampire boyfriend, his departure and absence from my life meant that I had fallen in love with my best friend Jacob, a shapeshifter.

I only had this moment of clarity on my wedding day to said vampire after having broken said shapeshifter's heart days earlier.

A strong-willed person would have stayed and dealt with the consequences and circumstances I had created but I'd done exactly what my mother had done when she realized she didn't want to stay with my father or in Forks. I bolted, running away from every choice I had made since coming to Forks and running from Forks itself.

As soon as I stepped on the carpet that Alice had laid out, I had finally felt my instincts kick in for the first time since I moved to Forks. I had stopped, taking a deep breath to calm myself and fully intending to walk the rest of the carpet to the altar where Edward stood.

One look at Billy who had come to my wedding despite how awful I'd treated his son had been too much for me. Since the battle, I had felt guilty and had wanted to see Jacob. Even hearing his voice would have been better than the nothing left in his absence.

It's funny how you don't realize just how much you need someone until they're no longer there and you're left feeling very much alone even when you're surrounded by people.

I still remember the gasp of everyone present at my wedding, including my father when I pulled my arm back, grasped hold of my skirts and ran back up the aisle, somehow staying upright. My only saving grace had been that every single Cullen had been within sight of the humans at my wedding so none of them could have caught up with me without exposing what they were.

I had barely managed to grab the keys to my truck as I'd raced through the Cullen house to the front where I'd throw my truck into drive, forcing it down the driveway as quickly as I could. I somehow made it home within minutes, pushing my poor truck as fast as it would go before racing for the house.

The next couple of minutes are a blur still.I remember my blind panic that one of the Cullens would appear, rushing around my room as I grabbed a bag and threw items into it. I remember tripping over my wedding dress in my hurry, hearing it rip but not caring as I grabbed the already packed bags I had and the one I'd packed, rushing down to my truck.

It wasn't till I hit the freeway that I began to cry, tears of joy mixing with tears of sadness as I thought about everyone I was leaving.

I kept my truck going as different destinations flashed through my head. My thoughts and the silence in the truck was interrupted by the ringing of my phone from one of the bags. Pulling it out, I was surprised to see I already had a dozen text messages but I wasn't surprised to see my Dad calling me.

Flipping my phone open, I had barely answered'' Dad'' when he began ranting at me.

''Bells, where the hell are you? We can talk this through but tell me where you are'' Dad pleaded, his voice becoming choked up as he told me the one thing we couldn't do. We couldn't talk about it, we couldn't discuss why I had ran off or why I really would have been getting married today. Knowing that he would be hurting as much as I was brought my tears back and I began to sob.

''Daddy. I can't do this and I need some time. Tell Edward I'm sorry'' I cried, knowing that Edward would probably hear our entire conversation. I hoped that he wouldn't come after me, that he would leave me be to have the time I needed alone.

''I understand, Bells. I just wish you had come to me, kiddo and told me that you were so conflicted. Text me when you've got to your destination. I love you, Bells, no matter what'' Charlie replied, the click telling me that he'd hung up.

No sooner had my Dad hung up then Edward flashed across the screen. I debated about whether to accept the call or not, knowing deep down that it would be better if I took the call. I accepted the call and took a deep breath, waiting for the rant that would come.

''**Why didn't you tell me you were having cold feet? We didn't have to do this today**'' Edward's melodic voice asked as I choked back a sob and shook my head.

''_Edward, I can't do this at all. I thought it would be easy but it's not. I love him a...and I can't do this to my dad. It'll kill him even if I would be happy'_' I cried, sobbing louder at the thought of hurting my parents and Jake.

**''Bella, I get it. I was a fool for trying to hold onto you when I need to be the better man and let you go. I will always love you but I want you happy. We could be friends someday but I think I'll go and stay with the Denali coven. Do you want my family to stay behind in Forks?''** Edward said, his question hanging in the air as I thought it over.

_Did I want his family to stay?_  
As I thought his question over, I felt my answer deep in my gut and knowing that I was going to hurt them was a hard fact to swallow. Even if they were vampires, they are as easy to hurt as humans are in regards to their emotions.

''_No, Edward. I think it's best if you all leave. It's what I want'_' I replied, the words hard and cold as I did my best to keep my emotions in check.

I didn't want to hurt the Cullens but it was their fault that the pack had shifted, that their lives had been disrupted. It was unfair of me if I told the Cullens to stay. The pack had given enough and I had already done enough to hurt them.

'**'I understand, Bella. Take care and enjoy your life**'' Edward responded, the silence deafening as I ended the call. I threw my phone on the seat beside me and kept my eyes on the road during the rest of my drive.

Seeing signs for Port Townsend, I made my mind up there and then that Port Townsend was my destination. I wanted to stay at least a week

**Author Note:  
Let me know what you guys think of this. This little thing has been sat on my Google Drive for close to 3 years, simply doing nothing. At this point, this is only going to be a one-shot unless I change my mind. There will be other older stories of mine that make a reappearance that either have been previously uploaded or have never seen the light of day. Prior to my AN on Reborn in 2017, Scorned will not be making any appearance online soon since some of my chapters are missing from my laptop and Google Drive as well as my pen-drive that they're backed onto being missing. At this point, it will mean re-writing a story that I'm not sure I want to. However in its place, I will be posting old stories that have never been published online; The Wolf & The Beauty will be the first one circa June 2019. Once that's up and complete, I'll reveal what the next story will be.**


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